just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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