I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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