I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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