you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize