Umm I'm too high to move.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize