Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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