Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
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Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
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I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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