i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober January is a disaster.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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