mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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