Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy http://tfl.nu/zo8r
  Replies (5) Good night (707) Bad night (982) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight, http://tfl.nu/r6s4
  Replies (11) Good night (3260) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers. http://tfl.nu/lnvf
  Replies (22) Good night (5727) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  come over i need a lifeguard for my shower

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): come over i need a lifeguard for my shower http://tfl.nu/1qns
  Replies (29) Good night (9562) Bad night (1239) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing" http://tfl.nu/9hoo
  Replies (10) Good night (5185) Bad night (928) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free. http://tfl.nu/mdao
  Replies (7) Good night (2991) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs. http://tfl.nu/lvji
  Replies (2) Good night (1253) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow. http://tfl.nu/omx3
  Replies (7) Good night (715) Bad night (1333) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed. (443): YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT? http://tfl.nu/cgqa
  Replies (14) Good night (4111) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life. http://tfl.nu/7bi7
  Replies (6) Good night (327) Bad night (1542) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram? http://tfl.nu/uqso
  Replies (6) Good night (597) Bad night (252) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out. http://tfl.nu/tj30
  Replies (4) Good night (710) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk http://tfl.nu/8gkz
  Replies (2) Good night (202) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept... http://tfl.nu/rhyx
  Replies (4) Good night (333) Bad night (120) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter. http://tfl.nu/63zf
  Replies (3) Good night (487) Bad night (142) Order T-Shirt

Randomize