someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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