This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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