think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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