Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You left your phone here
Wait...
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