Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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