The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize