Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
God I need to hump something, right now.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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