How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
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I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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