Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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