just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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