She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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