OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
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She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
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So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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