So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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