You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
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I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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