The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
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Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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