I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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