Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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