So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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