I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
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You. Win. At. Life.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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