Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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