at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
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My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
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If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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