Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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