i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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