eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize