I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize