i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize