so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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