she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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