No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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