areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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