He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize