Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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