At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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