I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
BRING THE BAGELS
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize