so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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