Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize