I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize