do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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