No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I hope mine doesn't look like that
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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