I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
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She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
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Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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